Sorry, I'm octopied.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What’s an ig?
A snow house without a loo!
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
What do you call someone with Yellow hair on the beach?
A beach blond.
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop?
I'm baffled.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
Why don't people ever talk about the fear of roses? Because it's a thorny issue!
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
What did one hat say to the other on the hiking trip?
I'll wait here, you go on ahead.
I was thinking of making an investment on a new farming venture that feeds marijuana to cows instead of grass.
The steaks will be too high for sure.
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
All the grasses were bumping into each other because the grass-light wasn't working in the streets.
Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? He had them stumped.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
Having a dirt yard instead of grass is a bold move...
But having a giant rock is boulder.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
That crazy little sun of a beach.
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
The storm was sad so we called it the sigh-clone.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
Avoid pier pressure.
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
The science teacher decided to take her class out on a field trip to the mountains because all the kids in her class desperately needed higher grades.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
What nature phenomenon is the funniest? A cyclown!
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
In my village, there is a farmer who takes his cows to refill their food at the grass station.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
The reason lakes are bigger than rivers is because one has running water whereas the other water is merely standing.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.