Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
During the blizzard, the jalapeno said, I'm a little chilli.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
I sang the rainbow song to a cop yesterday.
They arrested me for colorful language.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
That rainbow is so neat, it must be professional gradient.
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
Why shouldn't you smoke weed during a thunder storm?
Because lightning strikes the highest object.
I was thinking of making an investment on a new farming venture that feeds marijuana to cows instead of grass.
The steaks will be too high for sure.
As the storm was brewing, the madman raised his hands and cried, "Hail Storms! Long may they rain!"
What do you call an old snowman? A creek.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
My boss told me that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
I like rivers very much. I was watching a live stream earlier.
Where do you go to weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow.
How did the apple tree get the job? It had the right qua-leaf-ications!
What do Ents wear to the beach?
Sandalwood.
What do they use to get a tan?
Palm oil.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
When you get a rainbow after the rain at least you are moving in the bright direction.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
What flowering plant is an amazing equestrian? The horse chestnut.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a dirty mouth.
What did the flower say to the flower next to him? Move over bud!
What do you call a Grizzly at a nude beach?
Bear Naked.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
Why was the evergreen so lonely in high school? She was always pining to become a part of the poplar kids.
I'd cut the grass but it's against the lawn.
I'm debating whether I should cross the river on foot or use my rowboat...
It's row v. wade.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?
Amazon kindle.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!