Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.
Having a dirt yard instead of grass is a bold move...
But having a giant rock is boulder.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What did the thunderstorm say to the lightning rod?
You'll never catch me, copper!
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
There was a television channel ran by pets, the weather forecast was on and inclement weather was being predicted...
High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
Q: Why was the cloud not allowed to cross the border?
A: Because it was a for-rainer
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
You have to act quickly during a flood because it's an emergent sea.
What’s every ice cream parlor owner’s side hustle?
Sundae school teacher.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Beach you to it.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
What's the name of the funniest mountain range in the world? The Himhilarious.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it is full of blades!
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
The ocean cut off all ties with the river, because the river turned out to be too shallow.
Pennies and quarters rain from the sky
"Wow!" I say. "It's climate change!"
If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?
Wet
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
What does a ghost wear when it’s raining outside?
Boooooooooooots.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.