In life, there are really only two things to worry about.
Either you are well, or you are sick: If you are well, there's nothing to worry about!
If you are sick, there are two things to worry about.
Either you get better, or you die.
If you get better, there's nothing to worry about!
If you die, there are two things to worry about.
Going to Heaven, or going to Hell.
If you go to Heaven, there's nothing to worry about!
If you go to Hell, you'll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends that you won't have time to worry...
So why worry at all??
A pig goes to a doctor and says: "Doctor, Iโve been having these terrible nightmares and I canโt sleep. Can you prescribe me some sleeping pills?"
Doctor: "Can you describe your nightmares to me?"
Pig: "They are all almost the same. First a man lures me with food, kills me and cuts me into pieces. Then he rubs salt all over my flesh!โ
Doctor: "I wouldn't worry about it, looks like youโre going to be cured soon."
An American couple decided to adopt a little German boy. After two years, the child doesnโt speak and his parents start to worry about him. After three years, he still has not spoken and after four years, he has yet to utter a word.
The American couple figure he is never going to speak but he is still a lovely child, and on his next birthday, they threw him a party and made him a chocolate cake with orange icing.
The parents are in the kitchen when the boy comes in and says, โMother, Father, I do not care for the orange icing on the chocolate cake.โ
My God,โ says his mother. โYou can speak?โ
To which the German boy replies, โOf course.โ
"How come you've never spoken before?โ asks his father.
โVell,โ says the boy, โup until now, everything has been satisfactory.โ
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