Tired Jokes

“You spend 90 percent of your adult life hoping for a long rest and the last 10 percent trying to convince the Lord that you’re actually not that tired.” – Robert Brault
Are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all day.
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
Your feet must be tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all day long.
Revenge of the Blonde A blonde woman was sick and tired of all the unfair jokes about blondes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all of the state capitals." One of the guys, of course, said, "I don't believe you. What is the capital of Texas?" "T!" she answered.
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. – Michel Tournier
You must be tired, because you’ve been running through my nightmares all night!
"I know your feet must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day!"
- Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
“To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you… They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can kill and eat them. Perfect.”
Bill Bryson
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
A Bear Walks Into a Bar... A bear walks into a bar. The bartender is extremely busy and looks tired. He eventually makes his way over to the bear. The bear immediately tells him, "You look exhausted." "Yeah, it's been a rough day," says the bartender, "What are you drinking?" "I'll have a glass of..." says the bear. He waits a painfully long moment before adding "... scotch." "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "Don't you mean "big pause"?" asks the bear. "Yeah, sorry." Sighs the Bartender. "Like I said, it's been a rough day."
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
What does the Yeti do when he is tired?
Himalaya down.
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.” — Shaquille O’Neal
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