“To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you… They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can kill and eat them. Perfect.” Bill Bryson
“Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I’m having problems you are always there. Whenever my life seems out of control, you are always there. Let’s face it. You are bad luck.” — Unknown
“A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.” — Arnold H. Glasgow
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