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Enjoy Jokes

Taking the Wife to the Bar
Taking the Wife to the Bar An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar, so one night he took her along with him. "What'll you have?" he asked. "Oh, I don't know. The same as you I suppose." she replied. So, the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and threw his down in one shot. His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out. "Yuck, that's TERRIBLE!" she spluttered. "I don't know how you can drink this stuff!" "Well, there you go," cried the husband. "and you think I'm out enjoying myself every night."
Food Quotes
“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain
Monster Puns
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
Funny Marriage Quotes
“One of the keys to a successful marriage is separate bathrooms. When he enters my bathroom sometimes, I’m like, ‘Why are you in here?’ And he’s like, ‘I live here. Can I enjoy my bathroom too?’”—Michelle Obama
Funny Health Quotes
"I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. he other two are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves"
"There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it." - Josh Billings
Flamingo Puns
Flamingos do annoy each other sometimes. Apparently this is because they enjoy ruffling feathers.
Strawberry Puns
My grandmother was famous all over town for growing delicious strawberries.
She made me promise that when she died, I would plant her strawberries on her grave so that people could enjoy them when they visited. When she passed away I fulfilled my promise. She’s dead and berried.
Food Poems
Sometimes we eat when we’re hungry
Or else when we’re just in the mood,
But everyone’s habits are different
In how we relate to our food.

There are 3 meals-a-day folk as well as
The ones who skip breakfast or lunch
And grazers who nibble for most of the day
Or snackers who in-between munch.

There are people with junk food addictions
And those who shun pork, beef or fish,
While the gluten or carb-free among us
Pay attention to what’s in each dish.

As for sweets, that’s a whole other story –
When you think about ice cream or pie
Or the various candies and chocolates
Without which some could never get by.

Just consider your own way of eating
With the foods you enjoy or you sneak
And you’ll realize, if you broach the subject,
That our diets are all most unique!

(Ilene Bauer)
Crow Puns
Crows go, listen, perform, and enjoy live music, at cawnsorts.
Beaver Puns
Beavers enjoy being in the company of a river because they go with the flow.
Yoga Pick Up Lines
I enjoy your company and the silence in between our yoga mats.
Funny Animal Quotes
“A well-trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.”—Helen Thomson
“All of the animals except for man know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it.”

- Samuel Butler..
Deer Puns
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
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