Why does every watermelon want to be in the Guinness book of records? Because there’s a lot of watermelon smashing to be done.
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a watermelon by it’s diameter? Watermelon PI.
Why are watermelons, such good entrepreneurs?
“They always have seed money.”
Why shouldn’t you go into business with a watermelon?
“They’re seedy.”
Did you hear about the watermelon who starred in a telanovella?
“It was melondramatic.”
Why did the watermelon go crazy?
“He lost his rind.”
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
What do you call a serial killer watermelon? A slaughter melon.
Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?
“It wanted to be a watermelon.”
Do you know what you call the outside of a watermelon?
“Rind of.”
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
What was the watermelon’s naughty pick-up line?
“Want to see my melons?”
What does the watermelon say to its girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? – “You are one in a melon!”
Why do watermelons take such a long time to make decisions?
“They’re always melon it over.”
What do you calla watermelon that just won’t stop committing crimes? A watefelon.
The watermelon thief was charged with robbery with violence, but the judge later changed that to a minor felony; or melony as he put it.
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
What is the only time you start at the red and stop at the green?
“When you eat a watermelon!”
What do you call a girl watermelon cop on the beat? A water fe-melon duty.
Nobody wants to sit next to the watermelon in the class because it has a strange smelon.
So, what do you do with an epileptic watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
And speaking of meloncholy, I heard that’s what you get when you cross a watermelon and broccoli.
There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons.
After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next night, the kids showed up and they saw the sign which read, "Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide."
The kids ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer's.
When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons were missing, but the sign next to his read: "Now there are two!"
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