When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.