What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.