What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
