I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.