Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
