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Son Jokes

Marriage Puns
My son was just born and another dad at the nursery congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday… said maybe they'll marry each other.
Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age!
Mummy Puns
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
Deer Puns
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
Family Puns
It’s going to be awkward if Mr. and Mrs. Burr...
ever lose their son Tim in a forest.
There once was a family, the Bigger’s.
There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and a son, baby Bigger. Which one was the largest?
The son, because he was a little Bigger.
Kangaroo Puns
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
Hair Puns
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
The Lost Thesaurus
A man loses his thesaurus, which he uses all the time. He searches all over his house for it. He’s double-checked everywhere, but he just can’t find it. Fed up with searching, he decides to ask his family members. His daughter loves reading books, so he decided to ask her first. Man: "Did you take my thesaurus?" Daughter: "I didn’t take your thesaurus, I was just reading my favorite book. Maybe ask my brother? He always tries to reach into high cabinets, so he might have taken it to stand on." So the man goes off and to look for his son. He finds his son sitting on the couch, playing video games. Man: "Did you take my thesaurus?" Son: "Of course not, I hate reading. Ask mom, she might have it." So the man looks for his wife, but she isn’t home. He starts getting really frustrated. He goes to the stables to search for her. He goes in but there's just their horse standing there.The man, frustrated, decides to amuse himself. "I don't suppose YOU know where my thesaurus is, right?" Horse: "Nope. Oops, I mean Neighhhh!"
Oral Hygiene Puns
"Hey dad, my electric toothbrush is broken!"
"No son, it's just gone acoustic."
Tiger Puns
Who in the hell names their son “Tiger” ?
Only people in the Woods’
Medieval Puns
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
Phone Puns
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
Parrot Puns
My friend said, "I bought a parrot for my son that has red and blue feathers."
I said, "Your son must look very strange."
Color Puns
When Papa red wanted to have some toppings on his bread, he told Son red, "Pass me the crimson!"
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