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Shopping Jokes

The Wife, the Husband and the Genie
A husband and wife in their sixties were coming up on their 40th wedding anniversary. Knowing his wife loved antiques, he bought a beautiful old brass oil lamp for her. When she unwrapped it, a genie appeared. He thanked them and gave each of them one wish. The wife wished for an all expenses paid, first class, around the world cruise with her husband. Shazam! Instantly she was presented with tickets for the entire journey, plus expensive side trips, dinners, shopping, etc. The husband, however, wished he had a female companion who was 30 years younger. The genie smiled and... Shazam! Instantly he turned 93 years old.
Grocery Store Pick Up Lines
Reading a shopping list, eh? I see we're both fans of the classics.
A pretty lady wasn't on my shopping list but I can be spontaneous.
Werewolf Puns
Where do werewolves hate shopping?
The flea market.
Funny Money Quotes
"Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to go shopping." ~ Bo Derek
Electricity Puns
Where do light bulbs go shopping? The outlet stores.”
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
Funny Animal Poems That Rhyme
When my cat sleeps, he snoozes
Inside the laundry basket,
Or on top of a tree,
Crammed inside a shelf,
Where no-one can see.
In empty shopping bags,
And cartons made of cardboard,
On piles of books and newspapers,
And suitcases that are stored.
Curled up under furniture,
In places we’d never think to look.
Or nestled behind a flower pot,
In a hard to find nook.
Since my cat sleeps for at least sixteen hours each day
He must be bored of sleeping in the same old way!

(Santhini Govindan)
Crow Puns
Crows go to get their shopping at Cawst Co.
Halloween Puns
Saw Humpty Dumpty shopping for Halloween supplies.
He's going to have a great fall.
Quotes
“The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.”
Unknown
Blonde Jokes
Why did the blonde give up online shopping?
The trolley kept falling off the computer.
Mall Pick Up Lines
Want to go shopping? Today only there's a special deal: 30% off on my heart!
Tiger Puns
What is one of the big tiger's most favorite hangout places? A shopping maul.
Elf Puns
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
Saxophone Puns
Shopping at the music store, my friend had to settle for a fiver saxophone ...
They couldn't afford a tenor.