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Fired Jokes

Funny Work Quotes
“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because . . . they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” – Steven Alexander Wright
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin
Keyboard Puns
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
Funny Money Quotes
"Most people work just hard enough to not get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit." ~ George Carline
Orange Puns
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
“Lack of concentration.”
Computer Puns
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.
Doctor Puns
The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach."
The surgeon was fired later that day.
Crow Puns
Why was the crow upset about his job? The HR fired the crow with no caws.
Elf Puns
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
Pig Puns
Why did the pig get fired? Insu-boar-dination.
Gorilla Puns
Q. What do you get if you cross a gorilla with a grizzly bear?
A. Fired from the zoo.
Gnome Puns
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
Medieval Puns
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
The Angry CEO
General Motors, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked, "How much money do you make a week?" A little surprised, the young man looked at him and replied, "I make $400 a week. Why?" The CEO then hands the guy $1,600 in cash and screams, "Here's four weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!" Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that bloody slacker did here?" From across the room came a voice: "That was the pizza delivery guy from Domino's."
Meat Puns
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.