Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
Rock was magma before it was cool.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.