What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white?
Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?