Rock was magma before it was cool.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing? Au revoir.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!