River Puns

Don't get tide-up in your worries. Enjoy these river puns instead.

River Puns

I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
What did the sea say to the river? You can run but you can't tide.
Every time I passed a ring-shaped coral reef with a coral rim that encircles a lagoon, I had to pay a fee. It was atoll.
Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
The man got shocked when he got down in the river because the river current was too strong.
The river turned out to be a great party guy because he just went with the flow.
Two fish are swimming in a river, when one of them hits a concrete wall. He turns to the other and says: "Dam"
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
Took the family on a whitewater rafting trip, and first time we came to a sudden descent in the river, we lost everything...
That was just one of the downfalls!
Why did the chicken cross the river?
To get to the otter side
Why did the river refuse to join the sea? Because the sea was salty.
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
What's the fastest thing on the river bed?
A motor-pike and side-carp.
While walking down the plains of the river, I lost my footing and got hit on my head. Now my head is swimming.
In what state is the Amazon River? It is in the liquid state.
Have you heard about the banker who drowned in a river? It was a river of cash.
What did the river sue for?
Beaver damage.
The reason lakes are bigger than rivers is because one has running water whereas the other water is merely standing.
The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a dirty mouth.
The lake did not like the river because it felt that the river was not very lake-able.
Why are small dried up river beds so cool? Because they're ex-stream.
Where do fish wash? In a river basin.
Why did the River need Jesus? It was dammed.
What's the difference between Amazon Prime and the Amazon River? The Amazon River actually has sails.
What is the name of the car that passes through the narrow stream of the river? Fjord.
What did the priest say at the flooding river?
God, dam it!
I enjoy throwing coins in the river and watching them. I like studying my cash flow.
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized I'm in Seine.
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?
If it was a guy it would be the misterssippi River.
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
What did Sherlock Holmes say to Watson when he noticed sandstone deposits on the river bank? "It's sedimentary, my dear Watson."
I have a butcher friend in London. Last week he caught a huge sea creature in the river there and made it into sausage. It was the beast of Thames. It was the wurst of Thames.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
I was gonna make a river joke, but I don't think it's current.
Rivers are so lazy they never get out of their beds.
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
Why did two fishes go to the riverbank? They wanted to withdraw their fins.
As I am walking towards my classroom, I get to know that my miss-is-sippi-ng my glass of water.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
The insane amount of rainfall in Poland did not lead the river to flood, all was in Oder.
Don't get tide-up in sorrows, you will only cry a river.
The ocean cut off all ties with the river, because the river turned out to be too shallow.
what do you call the smaller rivers that run into the nile?
The juveniles
I like rivers very much. I was watching a live stream earlier.
I'm debating whether I should cross the river on foot or use my rowboat...
It's row v. wade.
Why did the River go to the doctor? Her flow wouldn't stop.