Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.