What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.