What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.