What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
My dad hates the ocean, but the other day he bought a boat.
He never could resist a good sail.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
Why do freshwater fish cry so much?
They’re just a stream of emotions.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.