Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.