Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear!
eople say they never get hungry at the beach
That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.
I was thinking of making an investment on a new farming venture that feeds marijuana to cows instead of grass.
The steaks will be too high for sure.
Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?
They were in tents.
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pickle
Pickle who?
Pickle little flower and give it to your mother!
My boss has just fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
Oh well!! That's the end of my Korea.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
My wife refused to go to a nude beach with me
I can't believe she is so clothes-minded.
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
I tried playing baseball in the fog today.
It was a bit hit and mist.
I was struggling to find out how lightning works. And then it struck me.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
How does a rainbow greet the other weathers? With a yellow of course!
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
Lightning never strikes coffee in its bean form.
Only when it's ground.
Why did the girl walk into the ice cream store with an umbrella?
She heard there were going to be sprinkles
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
Never forget how beautiful the mountains are. You don't want to take them for granite.
I've always considered mountain plateaus to be the highest forms of flattery.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
Q: Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?
A: Atmospheric pressure.