When the moisture from the sky stops falling
It really stops waning
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
The evil King of Weatherland only had one favorite weather - hail, storm.
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
I would love climbing to the peak of Mount Everest, but I do not see the point.
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it is full of blades!
What is batman’s favorite food (ans Just-ice)
Not much, just-ice.
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
Why was there lightning and thunder in the lab?
The scientists were brainstorming.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
How can you tell that the ocean is friendly? It waves!
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
What do fashionable mountains wear when it's cold? An ice cap.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing it just waved.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
Salty but sweet.
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.
Please don't make fun of my re-seeding hare line.
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What did one cloud of fog say to the other?
I don’t know. It’s a mistery.
I imagined I saw a rainbow but it must have been a pigment of our imagination.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
What do you say when the beach asks you to walk on it?
Shore
I used to search for clams on the beach
But then I pulled a mussel.
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
I dropped my steak into the fire.
Well done, me, well done.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.