What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
Life's a beach. Enjoy the waves.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
What is a cat's favorite color in the rainbow? Purrrrrple of course.
Be careful out there during the snowstorm. It ain't snow joke.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
I heard that burglars used grass to pick a lock and gain entry to a local house, but the evidence may have been planted.
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
What do you call a snowman in July?
A puddle.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
What is Jack Frost’s favourite mode of transport?
A Tr-Ice-cycle
When do monkeys fall from the sky?
During ape-ril showers.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
My wife and I went hiking and got lost. I lost my temper and she was so upset she threw the map at me.
Now I know where we stand.
What do you call a funnel shaped storm made of ketchup?
A tormato.
What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas? It took a leaf of absence!
What type of pants do rain clouds wear? Thunderwear.
Did you hear about the boat that crashed into the beach?
The captain fell asleep and the crew didn't realize until they were already in the no wake zone.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
Whenever I hear folksy stories about the hills, I can never get over them.
The dock keeps floating above the river because of the pier- pressure.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
Q: What is a cloud's favorite reptile?
A: A blizzard.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
I once dreamt of crossing a wide river...
But it ended up being just a ferry tale.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.