The feds were on a global hunt for a cow who was known to hide behind foliage. They finally located her in Moss-cow.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
What’s the difference between a horse and wet weather?
One reigns up and the other rains down.
Did Texas survive last week's winter storms?
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrly.
You'd never get a rainbow in the red of night.
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
The ocean made me salty.
I'd cut the grass but it's against the lawn.
The lake did not like the river because it felt that the river was not very lake-able.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
The man got shocked when he got down in the river because the river current was too strong.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
Grass absorbs nutrients always by the process of grass-imilation.
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
What does rain wear to a fancy dinner party? A rainbow-tie.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night....
..... oof !!
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
A friend of mine is his team's best footballer on paper. Unfortunately, they play most of their games on grass.
Rainbows are very uncommon, they are blue and far between.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Why shouldn't you smoke weed during a thunder storm?
Because lightning strikes the highest object.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
What language do things that fly in the sky speak....
Plane english
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What did the rainbow say to the pot of gold? You'll be the end of me.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!