A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
What do fashionable mountains wear when it's cold? An ice cap.
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
I live on top of the mountain and i usually have 99 problems
But the beach ain't one
Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they n-Everest.
There was once a mountain biker who murdered everyone in his path because he was a clinical cycle-path!
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
I've always considered mountain plateaus to be the highest forms of flattery.
Whenever I hear folksy stories about the hills, I can never get over them.
The mountain got promoted because he was at the peak of his career!
There was once a jolly happy mountain that offered fantastic advice to a grumpy hill. "Change your altitude", he said!
How about the most dangerous mountain in the world? Kill-a-man-jaro.
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
What does a mountain often do at its daily meal? It avalunch.
Why did the boy soon stop trying to grab the mountain fog? Because he always mist.
I would love climbing to the peak of Mount Everest, but I do not see the point.
You should dress up warm in the Andes. That place is Chile.
The science teacher decided to take her class out on a field trip to the mountains because all the kids in her class desperately needed higher grades.
Two rocks at the bottom of a mountain. First rock: Avalanche!
Second rock: Ha! I'm not gonna fall for that again!
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
Why do dwarves live in mountains?
They dig it.
Never forget how beautiful the mountains are. You don't want to take them for granite.
Do you know what is the actual difference between hell and hill? It is only a fine line.
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
Man, I puma pants
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
What's the name of the funniest mountain range in the world? The Himhilarious.
The hiker hated the top of the mountain because it was all downhill from there!
My friend, while driving through the mountains watching the leaves change: I love the winter. All the naked trees.
Me: Yeah, you can see all their knotty parts.
Solving problems in the mountains is easy. It really Alps to clear your head.
What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?
Hi, Cliff!
Fancy a climb? Mount me in.
How did the wife know her mountaineering husband was cheating on her? She caught Himalayan about it more than once.
What world-famous rock group has four guys that don't even sing? Mount Rushmore.
There's snow place like the mountains in winter.
What do we call a flock of sheep that tumbles down a mountain? They are called a lamb-slide.
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
A friend of mine asked me to go hunting up in a dangerous mountain range.
I didn't bother because i thought the steaks were too high
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is because it's peak comedy
When a mountain falls sick, it tells the doctor that he's feeling really very, very hill.