General: "Fire at will!"
Soldier: "Which one's Will?"
It was a great fire. It was a bon-fire.
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire
He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
When Smokey died in a forest fire, how did his body get to the cemetery ?
Pallbears.
The other day I put out a big dangerous open fire!
The other people on the hot air balloon didn't appreciate me for some reason.
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
Why did the vegan get fired ?
His job performance did not meat expectations.
I was fired from an insect repellent company for being dyslexic, so I smashed all their computers.
There’s no files on me.
I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire.
It was a hot mess
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
Bernadette.
My fire tonight...
Was lit!
I saw a cow on fire ther dayand so I put it out.
Guess you could call it a rare experience.
I got fired from the Calendar Factory yesterday
They say it's because I took a day off.
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
K9P.
I heard there are some fires near Greece
We’re gonna need a lot of baking soda.
I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.
My boss said, “Clean out your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
I stole fire from the gods.
But I couldn't fence it. It was too hot.
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
A butt lit a house on fire.
So I guess he committed Arse-on
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.
Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.
My Dermatologist was fired today...
He made too many rash decisions.
What do you call an 'O' on fire?
Flamingo.
My boss told me that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
Did you hear the was a fire at a used furniture store and two people died next door?
It was due the second hand smoke
What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop?
I'm baffled.
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?
Amazon kindle.
There was a terrible fire at the shoe factory today...
Over a million soles were lost.
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
I dropped my steak into the fire.
Well done, me, well done.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
What did the chicken do when his shop caught on fire?
He egg-xited..
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire.
Fire-works on 4th of July.
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."
"Then you’ll have a match."
Why did the forest ranger never put their tent between fires
because if they did the tents would be in a across fire
My boss has just fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
Oh well!! That's the end of my Korea.