Recently Jokes

I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards
I'm sure that must have been a record.
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
Part of my alphabetised tea set recently got possessed by a demon.
I’m sure it’s saucer ‘E’.
Was arguing with a friend in a restaurant recently when the waiter ran over and took the plate of garlic bread and the coleslaw. I wish he’d stop taking sides.
Recently in a meeting at the greengrocer I work at, I asked my manager how he was doing. "Just peachy", he replied.
I’ve started dating Medusa recently.
Our relationship rocks!
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
I recently went to a soft fruit party, where all the food was berry based. It was cherrific.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
My father is a farmer who grows strawberries. However, his business has recently gone into liquidation after he made smoothies.
I was watching an Australian cooking show recently and the audience began applauding when the chef made meringue. Which is odd because...
Australians usually boo meringue.
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