Lips Jokes

“It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.”—Rodney Dangerfield
I wish I was Tim Horton's coffee…So I could get close to your lips.
Your lips look so lonely. Would they like to meet mine?
If you can join the seas and the rivers, why not join your lips and mine?
I wish I was one of your tears, so I could be born in your eyes, run down your cheek, and die on your lips.
No taxation without representation! But, there is a kiss tax. Strictly enforced and right on the lips.
If I’m reading their lips correctly,
my neighbors are arguing about some creepy guy next door.
Hey (say their name), I know this is not a chat room but my lips want to chat with yours.
Why do men have 2 heads and women 4 lips? Cause men do all the thinking and women do all the talking.
Twinkle twinkle little pie,
You squash my willpower like a fly.
You look so innocent and so sweet,
Convince my lips that we should meet.
You are a relentless flirt,
Oh no, we had indecent dessert.

Twinkle twinkle help appears,
A Stevia leaf erased my fears.
It made my willpower a superhero,
As for calories it has zero.
Twinkle twinkle Truvia™ star,
It has natural sweetness I love just what you are.
(Michael Hack)
When your putt lips out, what disease do you have?
Liprocy.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
Why did the hipster burn his lips?
He ate his pizza before it was cool.
Kiss me! Let me taste your sweet lips before the asteroid destroys earth
"It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass." — Rodney Dangerfield,
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