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Flat Jokes

Kitchen Puns
I was serving my friend a roast in my tiny shoebox apartment. He boasted that he could cook the same dish in a mere two hours...
But I cooked it in a minute flat.
Toxic Pick Up Lines
Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?
Funny Work Quotes
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannonโ€™s Law
Planet Puns
What if the earth was both round and flat?
Would it be called cylindearth?
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying heโ€™d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.
Heโ€™ll come around eventually.
I donโ€™t get why people buy into the flat earth theory.
I mean, the arguments for it arenโ€™t exactly well rounded.
Flat-Earthers hate the fact our planet is spherical, whereas Asgard is flat.
It's a Thor subject for them.
Meat Puns
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
Gorilla Puns
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
Piano Puns
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
It's in A flat minor.
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
Puns
My singing voice sounds bad in my tiny apartment.
Itโ€™s a little flat.
Peach Puns
Q: Why was the fruit not selected for the singing competition?
A: He has a flat peach.
Family Puns
I'm very proud of my family for owning such a musical property.
We live in A flat.
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