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Carrying Jokes

Halloween Puns
I went to a Halloween party wearing a pie shell and carrying a shepherds crook.
"What on earth are you supposed to be?" "I'm a spy" "A spy?. What kinda of spy wears a pie costume and carries a crook?"

A shepherds spy.
Ancient Greek Monster Puns
Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.
Travel Puns
We've been driving all day, I need a brake.

My suitcase started crying when I picked it up. I was carrying emotional baggage.
Dad Jokes
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
Pumpkin Puns
What's black, white, orange, and waddles? A penguin carrying a Jack-o-lantern.
Fridge Puns
On our way to buy a refrigerator, I saw my husband carrying a piece of paper with a giant X written on it. I asked, “What are you going to do with it?”
He said, “Let’s cross that fridge when we get there.”
Laundry Puns
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
Lamp Puns
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
Band Puns
What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
The Blonde and Her Melons
The Blonde and Her Melons This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along. The guy asks, "What are you carrying?" "Melons," the blonde replies. "Cool," the guy says."If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?" The blonde giggles and says, "If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them!"
Utensils Puns
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging.
Since then, my muggings have been far more successful.
Funny Animal Quotes
“Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?”
Jerry Seinfeld
“Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?”

- Jerry Seinfeld.
Lemon Puns
Sherlock Holmes enters a room carrying a box of lemons
"Where'd you get those?" asks Watson.
"A lemon tree, my dear Watson. A lemon tree."
Electricity Puns
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!”
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!
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