I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor.
The nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!"
The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company."
The man then followed the woman to his wife’s room.
About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith’s wife has just had triplets.
Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company."
The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave.
When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air."
The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."
A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don’t know what to do.
Long
About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection.
The doctor says to the woman, “I know what we’ll do. After I’ve operated on the priest, I’ll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle.”
“Do you think it will work?” she asks the doctor.
“It’s worth a try.” he says.
So the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest. After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, “Father, you’re not going to believe this.”
“What?” says the priest. “What happened?”
“You gave birth to a child.”
“But that’s impossible!”
“I just did the operation,” insists the doctor. “It’s a miracle! Here’s your baby.”
About fifteen years go by, and the priest realizes that he must tell his son the truth.
One day he sits the boy down and says, “Son, I have something to tell you. I’m not your father.”
The son says, “What do you mean, you’re not my father?”
The priest replies, “I’m your mother. The archbishop is your father.”
Three NHL coaches are waiting outside the delivery unit as their wives are all in labor.
After many hours, a nurse comes out to see the first coach.
"Your wife just finished giving birth! Both she and the baby are fine! A healthy baby boy!" the nurse said. "But... I've never seen a baby like yours..."
"What do you mean?" the coach asked.
"Well," the nurse replied, "your son growled and clawed at us like a... like a wild cat..."
When the coach heard this, they chuckled before replying,
"Well, that makes sense! After all, I work for the Florida Panthers!"
The husband then follows the nurse to see their wife and son, and after a while they come out to see the second coach.
"I'm so happy to tell you that your wife had a beautiful daughter! Yet her behavior is also... very peculiar..."
"How so?" the coach asked.
"Well, you see," the nurse became hesitant to reply, "they started... quacking... almost like they were-"
"A duck?" the coach interrupted.
"Well... Yes..." the nurse confirmed.
The coach could only laugh in response.
"Well what do you know?!" they beamed. "She really is the daughter of the coach of the Anaheim Ducks!"
But while the second coach was gleeful, the third coach was white in the face, and immediately began to rush out of the delivery unit.
"Where you do think you're going?" the nurse asked.
"To call an exorcist!" the third coach yelled out. "I'm the coach of the New Jersey Devils!"
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