There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
We're donion rings.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
You look like my future ex wife.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
We should make like your parents and split.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
You looked better when I was drunk.
"It's not me, it's you!"
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
I think we need to become better strangers.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Let’s make like a banana and split.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
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