I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
You look like my future ex wife.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
You looked better when I was drunk.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Can we still share a netflix account?
We're donion rings.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
I think we need to become better strangers.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
You are so right. And I am so left.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
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