Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
We should make like your parents and split.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
You are so right. And I am so left.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
Can we still share a netflix account?
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
I really like you. So does my wife.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
You looked better when I was drunk.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
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