Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
You look like my future ex wife.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
I think we need to become better strangers.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
We're donion rings.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
I really like you. So does my wife.
We should make like your parents and split.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
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