Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
You are so right. And I am so left.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
I really like you. So does my wife.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Can we still share a netflix account?
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
We should make like your parents and split.
"It's not me, it's you!"
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
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