Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
You are so right. And I am so left.
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
We should make like your parents and split.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
I really like you. So does my wife.
"It's not me, it's you!"
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
You look like my future ex wife.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
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