"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?"
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
"Maybe this is not the right time for us"
You are so right. And I am so left.
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
Will you be the sun in my life? Then stay millions of miles away from me.
I think this has been said somewhere else.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
"We are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it."
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
"My cat doesn't like you."
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
"I'll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow."
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
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