What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
You look like my future ex wife.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
"Maybe this is not the right time for us"
I really like you. So does my wife.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
Can we still share a netflix account?
"My cat doesn't like you."
"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?"
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
You remind me of Halley's Comet. I don't wanna see you again for another 74 years.
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Hey girl, you must be a math book because you’re full of problems.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
"I treated this relationship like my diet, one cheat day a week."
"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."
"Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you."
"It's not you...it's your taste in music"
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
"I'll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow."
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