Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.