Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
