Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.