What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.