The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
What is a tornado's favorite movie? Gone With the Wind!
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
How can colors be used to predict the weather?
By their huemidity.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
Local weather reports state there won't be any rain for 1 year, but I drought it.
I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.
I’m optimistic!
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
What do you call a storm that doesn't come to fruition?
A mist opportunity!
I tried playing baseball in the fog today.
It was a bit hit and mist.
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?
They were in tents.
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
I mist say, this is a pretty bad joke, but it haze potential.
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
What does Santa often say to Mrs Claus? Come and look at the rain-dear.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.