I hate windy weather. It really blows.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
Q: What did the wind turbine say to the engineer after he fixed him?
A: I’m a big fan of your work!
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
I mist say, this is a pretty bad joke, but it haze potential.
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died.
She is sadly mist.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
What is a tornado's favorite Elton John song? Candle in the Wind!
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
What type of pants do rain clouds wear? Thunderwear.
There was a television channel ran by pets, the weather forecast was on and inclement weather was being predicted...
High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
What should you do if it starts raining cats and dogs?
Please seek shelters.
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.