Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
There’s an old oak near my house that’s always surrounded by fog.
I don’t know why, it’s a mist tree.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
I tried playing baseball in the fog today.
It was a bit hit and mist.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
What should you do if it starts raining cats and dogs?
Please seek shelters.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
Why is rain the best kind of music?
Because it has amazing drops.
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.