Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
When we were young, we had this myth that lightning bolts go all the way to cloud 9.
Our weather bureau is actually an umbrella organization.
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
There’s an old oak near my house that’s always surrounded by fog.
I don’t know why, it’s a mist tree.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
Q: What did Julius Caesar’s pet windmill say?
A: I came, I spun, I conquered.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?
A: A rough draft
My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.
I’m optimistic!
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
I guess you could say that things hit by tornado's are blown up.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
What should you do if it starts raining cats and dogs?
Please seek shelters.
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
It was pretty foggy outside today.
I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
Q: What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
What is a tornado's favorite Elton John song? Candle in the Wind!
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
What does Santa often say to Mrs Claus? Come and look at the rain-dear.
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
