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Unfortunately Jokes

Funny Work Quotes
“A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.” – Fats Domino
Koala Puns
A star athlete in Koalaville got kicked off the Olympic team for cheating. Unfortunately, he was diskoalafied.
Egg Puns
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
Tennis Puns
Two racquets started dating. Unfortunately, one was stringing the other along without any intention of tying the knot.
Lemon Puns
I was hoping my friend would catch the lemon-lime soda i tossed her.
But unfortunately Sierra Mist
Dad Puns
My dad was the top clown at the circus, but unfortunately he passed away.
I guess I have some pretty big shoes to fill.
Puns
I came across a great movie about a semi-truck with a defective refrigeration unit that had to deliver a large shipment of meat.
Unfortunately, the trailer spoiled it.
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.
He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Grass Puns
A friend of mine is his team's best footballer on paper. Unfortunately, they play most of their games on grass.
Travel Puns
The airline lost my luggage, and so I sued them. Unfortunately, I lost the case.
One Liners and Short Jokes
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… But he was a good man. His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
Medieval Puns
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
Dog Puns
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
Mummy Puns
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
The Pilot's Emergency Plan
So Shamus and Johnny were riding a flight on Philippine Airlines, everything was going smoothly, and then something went wrong with the engine! Sirens were blaring in the cockpit, and the pilot issued a PSA to the cabin saying "Dear passengers, this is your captain speaking. unfortunately we have lost one engine, but do not worry, I will ensure your safety. The plane lands on water, and the captain calmly says, "Hello passengers, we have successfully landed on the water, I hope all of you are fine! Now, all of the people who can swim, please go to the right side of the plane. The people who can't, please go to the left. Johnny mentioned to Shamus, "See this is what I love about this airline, they always have backup plans for every situation!" Shamus replied, "Yeah, pare, I agree, the crew seems well trained for these situations." After everyone was arranged according to their swimming abilities, the captain spoke, "Everyone who can are on the right side of the plane, please evacuate the plane immediately and carefully. And to those on the left side of the plane... Thank you for flying Philippine Airlines."
The Lion's Birthday Party
Q: A plane is carrying one hundred bricks. One falls out. How many are left on the plane? A: 99. Q: What are the three steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? A: Open the fridge, put the giraffe in, and close the fridge. Q: What are the four steps to putting an elephant in the fridge? A: Open the fridge, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, and close the fridge. Q: Today is the lion king’s birthday party. All animals except for one arrive. Which animal is missing and why? A: The elephant is missing because he is still stuck in the fridge. Q: Sally must cross an alligator-infested river in order to safely make it out of a huge jungle. Usually, the alligators would kill any animal that approaches their waters. However, Sally makes it across safely. Why? A: All the alligators are at the lion king’s birthday party. Q: Unfortunately, Sally still dies. How did she die? A: She was hit in the head by a falling brick.
Vaccine Puns
I created a vaccine for apathy, but unfortunately no one seems interested.