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Dangerous Jokes

Food Quotes
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
Funny Money Quotes
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
"Money without brains is always dangerous." ~ Napoleon Hill
Friendship Quotes
"I'd walk through fire for my best friend. Well, not fire, that would be dangerous. But a super humid room... but not too humid because, you know... my hair."
— Unknown
Deer Puns
Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
Mountain Puns
A friend of mine asked me to go hunting up in a dangerous mountain range.
I didn't bother because i thought the steaks were too high
How about the most dangerous mountain in the world? Kill-a-man-jaro.
Movie Pick Up Lines
"You know, it's dangerous for you to be here in the frozen foods section—because you could melt all this stuff."
- Steve Martin, My Blue Heaven (1990)
Grocery Store Pick Up Lines
You: It's dangerous for you to be here in the frozen food section. Because you could melt all this stuff.
Appliance Puns
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
Medieval Puns
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
Nature Puns
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it is full of blades!
Pot Puns
Did you hear about the dangerous alcoholic who consumed his booze from a sizzling Chinese frying pan?
He liked to drink risky on the woks
Crow Puns
What’s black, dangerous and hides in trees?
A crow with a machine gun.
Weather Puns
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!