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Begin Jokes

Funny Headlines
Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
Birthday Jokes
You know you’re getting old when…
You begin every other sentence with, “Nowadays…”
Chocolate Puns
How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin? First, invade ze kitchen.
Wolf Puns
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
Deer Puns
Q. How did the wedding between the stag and the doe begin?
A. Deerly beloved...
One Liners and Short Jokes
Daddy? Do all fairy tales begin with ‘once upon a time’?
No, there are a whole series of fairy tales that begin with ‘If elected, I promise...’
Phone Puns
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
Color Puns
Car Salesman: And if you don't like this color, we have another one in "Boulder Gray"
Me: Gray isn't very bold to begin with, how did you make it bolder?
Mosquito Puns
The inventor of mosquito repellent likely did not know where to begin...
I guess he would have to start from scratch.
Nerdy Pick Up Lines
With my IQ and your body we could begin a race of genetic superchildren to conquer the earth.
Clever Jokes
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies "I think not!"
POOF! The horse disappears.

This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am.

But to explain the concept beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
Spice Puns
How does the recipe for German Sauerbraten begin? "First invade ze kitchen."
Funny Aging Quotes
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain