The bowling team of which I am captain is known lightning. This is because we get countless strikes.
My wife drove our German car off the pier into the sea. The next day I went diving to look for it.
I got the Benz.
We’re calling your number.
Their soccer team and the US navy had one thing in common, they both spent over $50 million on a sub.
Though it sounds mean, a bad soccer team is much like an old bra. It has no cups and minimal support.
Tennis is a lot like waiting tables. The most important thing to get right is the first serve.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Why do so few vegetarians become competitive swimmers?
They don’t like the swim meats!
What is the difference between a fish and a piano? You can't tuna fish.
What is a golfer’s favorite bird?
Any birdie will do.
Set or be set. This is certainly the right way to look at things.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
My friend Elmer’s has gotten really good at tennis ever since he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-ten free.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, know what I have in common with this new powder? 8 inches.
I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
What a Messi guy.
Why did the hotdogger quit skiing at MaryJane?
Because it was the wurst stunt skier at Winter Park Resort.
Whatever you do this summer, be sure to make a splash.
Would they get two minutes for tripping?
Not if they spliff the defence.
I want to play my match outdoors so I can hit the ball higher in the air. I’m not good at persuading people, so I’m going to hire a lob-byist.
Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing? Just for the halibut!
What do you call a diving dog?
A sub woofer.
How can you tell when a coach doesn’t know what they are doing? When the real coach is yelling from in the stands.
We pass expectations, set the standards and kill the competition. This is definitely one of the best volleyball puns to use as your team’s motto.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
What do apres-ski participants in white-out blizzard conditions eat for lunch?
Icebergers. BRR!
I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
How do ski instructors get to work?
By icicle.
The toilets at an AMF are known as the boweling alleys.
What do a rabid rabbit and a basketball player have in common?
Mad hops.
The basketball player sat on the sideline and began sketching pictures of chickens. He was learning how to draw fowls.
Which trophy has the most glitz? The Lady Bling.
Why did the guy decide not to donate a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon?
Because they just take the money and run.
What do you get for diving into a wave of oranges.
Vitamin Sea.
Why do stoner tourists spend so much money while on a skiing holiday at Aspen?
Because they're high rollers!
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
I’m not a bad putter…
I just can’t catch a break.
What do you call a professional beach volleyball player who doesn’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend? Homeless.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?
He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt
Why did the volleyball players line up from shortest to tallest? The coach wanted the team to switch from a 5-1 line up to a 6-2.
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
The goal nine yards
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
We’ll have a ball.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game