I’ve been getting blitzed all game
Why did the other volleyball team bow? Because they heard that the queens of the court were there.
Most of your players never make it out of the lower-level tournaments. I highly doubt their Futures as a professional.
Whatever you do this summer, be sure to make a splash.
Why should you swim in an ool instead of a pool?
Because there’s no “p” in it!
Scuba diving is a good hobby... if you wanna hit rock bottom.
Why did the kid pursue scuba diving?
Because all his grades are below C-level.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
Basketball players manage to remain cool even during tough matches because they stay closer to the fans.
I prefer the new system to reviewing line calls. When Hawk-eye came around, I breathed a big Cy-clops of relief.
In Quebec they used to practise throwing the puck in the zone, and then
sitting back to wait for a turnover. But eventually the players were
criticized for this dump-and-chaise tactic.
What do a rabid rabbit and a basketball player have in common?
Mad hops.
The reason why soccer players are brilliant in math is because they know how to use their heads well.
Bowlers pay a lot of money to play. This is because it is a bum per lane.
What do volleyball players watch during their free time? They watch Spike TV.
Brother: "I saw a seahorse scuba diving"
Dad: "Wow that's amazing, I didn't realise they had the technology."
Our game is as tight as our spandex. This would be an awesome team motto.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
When I got my first job at the bowling alley, I was only tenpin.
Which legend lived in a shack? Was it Eddy? No, Ma-hovel-ich!
What do you get when you run behind a car?
Exhausted!
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Why couldn't the garden gnome run in the marathon?
Because he's not part of the human race!
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
The injured player wanted to congratulate the winner, but he couldn’t walkover to the other side of the court.
In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
Seven days without playing soccer can make one weak.
What do fish and women have in common? They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them!
Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.
Too bad my serve hit the tape. Well, at least they’ll LET me hit it again.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
Which hulking left-winger could body-slam The Giant? Dave Andre-chuck.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
Why did the basketball player sign up for a crafting class?
He wanted to learn how to make baskets.
Which cool rapper recreates at Aspen Snomass?
Ice Ski.
Today I donated my old basketball hoop to a school for the blind.
It will be missed.
What time should I book the court? Let’s shoot for around tennish.
Volleyball is air affair. This would be a good motto for your team.
I tried to start a soccer club so I put up some posters on a local bulletin board.
Just to get the ball rolling.
How many Winter Park ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in, and two to say, "Nice Turns, Nice Turns!"
What do you call a girl who is standing directly in the middle of the court? Annette.
What type of stroke does a classical musician use when swimming?
The Bach stroke!
What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
Give me my quarter back.