Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
Why did the volleyball player get sent to jail? Because he was set up.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I bet this chair lift weighs enough to break the ice.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
Which Finn is like a hotdog on the ice? Teemu Salami.
Why were the volleyball players always tying in tic tac toe? Each time one of them sets an X, the other player just says O.
If you want a loyal marriage, get hitched to a basketball player. He will never pass you, rather he will keep you all to himself.
What do runners eat before a big race?
Fast food.
[Pool Noodle] That’s using your noodle!
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
Why was the wheelchair basketball team banned from the Paralympics?
They all tested positive for WD-40.
How do ski instructors get to work?
By icicle.
Why do benched players always seem to look so wise? They don’t have to look like fools on the floor and entertain the crowds.
How do snowboarders introduce themselves when they meet somebody on the slopes?
Sorry Dude.
Pick-up line: You might as well play be a tennis player, because I’m about to court you girl.
If Messier retires he's sure to be moosed.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
Why did the golfer need new socks?
Because there was a hole in one.
What time should I book the court? Let’s shoot for around tennish.
Which rangy centre could cover the whole ice? Jean Umbrelliveau.
The main difference between a dog and a basketball player is that one dribbles while the other one drools.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
Most of your players never make it out of the lower-level tournaments. I highly doubt their Futures as a professional.
Birds too love cheering on their soccer teams. They egg them on.
What happens if the Grim Reaper spikes the ball? You have to dig your own grave.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Defeat in soccer is only bitter if you swallow it.
The only way athletes can stay cool even in a charged game is by standing near the fans.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
Did you know that old bowlers do not die? They simply end up in gutters.
A team may be talented, but there is no substitute to this, no train no gain!
How is it that elephants are always ready for a swim?
They never forget their trunks!
What do you call it when you've choked on water while jogging every morning this week?
The worst running gag ever.
My moment in the sun.
The refs kept calling interference, even though goalmouth incidents were in
de-crease.
What can you serve and never eat? A volleyball!
The only time a basketball team can chase a baseball team is five after nine.
What it is it called if you refuse to go running today?
Resistance Training!
Where do fish sleep? In a river bed
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
I went to my girlfriend's soccer match for the first time last weekend. She kept grabbing the ball with her hands.
She's a keeper.
The closer we came to the alley, the louder the bowling thunder.
Footballers love one specific type of tea; penal-tea.
When is the course too wet to play golf?
When your golf cart capsizes.
What do fish and women have in common? They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them!