What do skiers order at fast food restaurants?
Icebergers with Chilly Sauce, on the slide.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
Bowlers pay a lot of money to play. This is because it is a bum per lane.
Why did they arrest the volleyball player? They suspected foul play.
Why was the Copper Mountain skier taken to the emergency room?
He hurt his ski bum.
The coddled superstar sat in the seats with the fans instead of on the bench
with the team; for this, ironically enough, he was accused of grandstanding!
My life-long rival just beat my record for deep-sea diving.
This is a new low.
What do apres-ski participants in white-out blizzard conditions eat for lunch?
Icebergers. BRR!
What are a golfer’s favorite flowers?
Fore-get-me-nots.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Set or be set. This is certainly the right way to look at things.
Golf is what you play…
When you’re too out of shape to play softball.
What is a golfer’s favorite bird?
Any birdie will do.
Birds too love cheering on their soccer teams. They egg them on.
How did the blind guy from Denver enjoy a bit of apres skiing on Lookout Mountain during the last white-out?
He brought along his skiing-eye dog.
Would Gretzky have changed his name in order to play in Mexico?
Yes, The Great Juan did what it takes.
Which superstar has a nose for the puck? Mario the Magsniffascent.
Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
They dribble all the time.
What does a runner lose after winning the race?
His breath.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
Where do ski instructors keep their money?
In the local snow bank.
What do you call a small fish magician? A magic carpet
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
What does a bowler and a Thanksgiving guest have in common?
They both want a Turkey.
They say that you can spike a volleyball. But you can never take away its dig-nity.
What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away? "You bass-tard!"
I hate when I have to stop scuba diving
If makes me deep-pressed
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Which athlete wrote the book, Jumping for Exercize?
Lee Ping.
Why is learning to ski in France so difficult?
'Cause sometimes they won't Alp you.
How are a volleyball player and a carpenter similar? They both love to hammer spikes.
hat do you call it when a runner from Moscow starts a race at Red Square that ends in Finland?
Russian to the Finnish.
Are you still wondering why the basketball player could listen to his music? Don’t you know he broke a record!
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather
What did the skiier say when his standup act was going downhill fast?
There snow possible way these puns could be more painful.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts?
He couldn't stand all the racket!
What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?
SlamDrunk!
Bowlers do not make good employees. This is because for 80% of the time, they are always going on strike.
Why did the volleyball players line up from shortest to tallest? The coach wanted the team to switch from a 5-1 line up to a 6-2.
Why wasn’t the little pumpkin allowed to swim?
There was no life gourd on duty!
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
Summer is just floating by.
Pick-up line: You might as well play be a tennis player, because I’m about to court you girl.
Where does a fisherman go to get his hair cut?
The fisherman goes to a bobber shop!
Case in punt