I applied for a job as an Instructor at a Scuba Diving center. The interviewer wanted to know if I can work well under pressure.
The only time a basketball team can chase a baseball team is five after nine.
Where do ghosts play volleyball at? At the volleyball corpse.
Why did the skier from Helsinki dominate the downhill slalom competition?
He led the race from start to Finnish.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
Which trophy has the most glitz? The Lady Bling.
I hate scuba diving.
It was the lowest moment of my life.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
What do you call a diving dog?
A sub woofer.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
The reason why bowling alleys are so quiet is such that you can hear a pin drop.
Do you always play this badly at the net? Because I don’t like your approach.
I really hate these strings. I can feel it in my gut.
Setters do it better. This sounds like a good motto to put on a T-shirt.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
What type of films should players watch to improve their shot? Slap stick.
What do volleyball players do when they go to church? Serve God.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
How are waiters and blockers similar? When they do a good job, they get a big fat tip.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Case in punt
Why are pilots so bad at basketball?
Because they're always traveling.
If Messier retires he's sure to be moosed.
The basic rule in the bowling game is to ensure you leave no pin standing.
Baseball point to ponder: Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" at the ballpark, if we're already there?
This summer is going swimmingly.
My life-long rival just beat my record for deep-sea diving.
This is a new low.
Why couldn't the garden gnome run in the marathon?
Because he's not part of the human race!
Scrambled eggs are similar to a losing basketball team because both are beaten.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
What is the 7th pin in bowling called? Mother-In-Law!
Which Habs great once worked as a janitor? Broom-Broom Geoffrion.
How does a volleyball team welcome their new neighbors? With a block party.
What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Take a cod, any cod.
Why do benched players always seem to look so wise? They don’t have to look like fools on the floor and entertain the crowds.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Footballers love one specific type of tea; penal-tea.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Do you believe this? All soccer players, irrespective of their country of origin, have one goal.
How are a volleyball coach and a dentist similar? They both use drills.
Why wasn’t the little pumpkin allowed to swim?
There was no life gourd on duty!
The Montreal baseball team relocated to Tampa after being purchased by the
Exposito bros.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Why was the Copper Mountain skier taken to the emergency room?
He hurt his ski bum.
Why are fish so smart Because they swim in schools!
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, want me to jump off this chairlift for you? 'Cause I think I could fall for you.